TL;DR
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A Bolde article identifies six phrases it says can make conversations feel safer for grandchildren, including open-ended questions, emotional validation and invitations to suggest solutions. The article cites psychology and therapy writing but does not present a study showing that these phrases cause children to confide more.
A Bolde advice article has outlined six phrases that may help grandparents make conversations feel safer for grandchildren, from asking “What’s on your mind?” to saying “You can always tell me.” The piece presents the suggestions as practical ways to listen and respond, but the supplied report does not cite a study testing whether using the phrases makes grandchildren more likely to confide.
The six suggestions are open-ended invitations, acknowledgment of a child’s feelings, permission to be upset, brief personal stories, questions that leave room for the child to propose a next step, and reassurance that the grandparent is available to listen. Bolde argues that these approaches can avoid making a child feel judged, corrected or rushed toward a solution.
The article attributes some of its reasoning to psychologist Pamela Brown, described as writing about why children stop confiding, and therapist Kailey Spina Horan, described as writing about validating children’s emotions. It offers no direct quotations from them in the supplied text, and gives no titles, publication dates or links to their underlying work beyond those descriptions.
Bolde’s examples emphasize how a phrase is delivered as well as the words themselves. It recommends listening without immediately offering advice, keeping a personal anecdote short, and bringing up availability during ordinary moments rather than only after a child has disclosed a problem. Those are recommendations from the article, not findings established by evidence included in the source material.
Listening Without Taking Over
The advice matters to families because children may be more willing to talk when they do not expect an immediate lecture, judgment or attempt to solve the problem for them. A grandparent who listens calmly can offer a valuable additional adult relationship, particularly when a child is working through a disagreement, worry or embarrassment. The article’s practical point is that trust is built through repeated interactions, not just a single reassuring sentence.
At the same time, the distinction between helpful communication advice and proven psychological outcomes matters. The source does not establish that these six phrases are uniquely effective, that all children respond to them in the same way, or that a grandparent using them will become a child’s confidant. The suggestions are best read as possible conversation starters, with the child’s needs and the family situation guiding what happens next.
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The Six Suggestions in Brief
The first phrase, “What’s on your mind?”, is presented as an open question that does not steer a child toward grades, behavior or another expected topic. The second, “That sounds like it really got to you,” acknowledges the impact of an experience without declaring who was right. The third, “You’re allowed to be upset about that,” separates accepting a feeling from agreeing with every interpretation of an event.
For the fourth suggestion, Bolde recommends sharing a short personal experience that helps a grandchild feel less alone, then returning the conversation to the child rather than comparing whose experience was worse. The fifth, “What do you think you’re going to do?”, invites the child to consider options before the adult steps in with a plan. The final phrase, “You can always tell me,” is framed as reassurance best offered during a calm, everyday conversation, not only after a disclosure.
The source supplies advice and attributed summaries of other writers’ work, rather than a reported experiment, survey or clinical finding about grandparents. Its headline’s suggestion that psychology points to a particular set of phrases is broader than the evidence details provided in the article text.
““What’s on your mind?””
— Bolde article
What the Source Does Not Establish
The supplied article does not identify a specific study, sample size, research method or measured outcome showing that these phrases increase disclosure. It also does not provide the full references for the writing attributed to Brown and Spina Horan, so readers cannot assess the original material from the supplied text alone. The claim that grandparents who use the phrases are the ones grandchildren confide in should therefore be treated as the article’s framing, not a confirmed research conclusion.
Children differ in age, temperament and circumstances, and the source does not say how the advice applies when a child is facing a serious safety concern or needs professional support. It does not establish that any particular phrase will prompt a child to talk, or that a conversation should replace help from parents, guardians or qualified professionals when needed.
How Families Can Apply the Advice
The article offers no announced research follow-up or next milestone. For families, the practical next step is to use the phrases as invitations rather than scripts: ask an open question, give the child time to answer, and listen without pressing for details. If a grandparent shares a personal story, the piece advises keeping it brief and returning attention to the grandchild.
Whether these approaches help in a particular family will depend on the relationship and the child’s comfort. The supplied source does not provide outcome data or additional reporting that would confirm their effects. What remains clear is that the six phrases are presented as communication advice, while claims about their broader psychological effectiveness need more direct evidence.
Key Questions
What are the six phrases in the Bolde article?
They are “What’s on your mind?”, “That sounds like it really got to you,” “You’re allowed to be upset about that,” “Something like that happened to me once,” “What do you think you’re going to do?” and “You can always tell me.”
Does the article prove these phrases make grandchildren confide?
No. The supplied text does not describe a study testing the phrases or report measured outcomes. It presents them as advice and attributes some discussion to psychology and therapy writers.
Why does the article recommend asking what a grandchild thinks they should do?
Bolde says the question gives a child room to consider their own response before an adult offers a solution. It is a recommendation in the article, not a reported finding that every child will respond positively.
Should grandparents use these phrases exactly as written?
The article presents them as examples of open, validating communication, not as required scripts. A grandparent can adapt the wording to the child and situation, while respecting the child’s willingness to talk.
Source: bolde.com
