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A recent analysis reveals that Gen Z is engaging in increasingly ‘not nice’ dating behaviors, such as ‘Shrekking’ and ghosting, reflecting changing social norms. These trends are gaining attention and concern among relationship experts.
A recent analysis has identified a surge in ‘not nice’ dating behaviors among Generation Z users, including practices like ‘Shrekking’ and ghosting, which are drawing concern from relationship experts and online communities. This development underscores a shift in online dating norms and raises questions about how young people navigate romantic interactions in the digital age.
The analysis, conducted by an anonymous researcher and reported by rss, highlights several emerging trends among Gen Z daters. One of the most prominent is ‘Shrekking,’ a term derived from ‘shred’ and ‘treat,’ which describes the act of actively sabotaging or humiliating a partner online after a breakup. This behavior is reportedly becoming more common on social media platforms, where young users share and amplify negative interactions.
In addition to ‘Shrekking,’ other behaviors include persistent ghosting—cutting off communication without explanation—and ‘breadcrumbing,’ where a person gives intermittent attention to maintain false hope. Experts note that these behaviors reflect a broader decline in traditional notions of respect and kindness in digital romantic interactions, possibly influenced by social media’s emphasis on individualism and social validation.
While these behaviors are documented through online anecdotes and trend analyses, it is not yet clear how widespread they are or what specific factors are driving their rise. Relationship counselors warn that such tactics can have harmful psychological effects, especially among impressionable young users.
Digital dating · A field guide
A Guide to Gen Z’s “Not Nice” Dating Trends
From “Shrekking” to ghosting, online dating behaviors are drawing concern. Here’s what the terms mean, what experts worry about, and what remains unknown.
01 / The behaviors
What “not nice” can look like
These terms describe different ways communication and conflict can play out online. Definitions may vary across communities and trend reports.
“Shrekking”
In this report, the term describes sabotaging or humiliating a former partner online after a breakup, such as through shaming posts or comments.
Ghosting
Ending contact without explanation. Persistent ghosting leaves the other person without clarity about why communication stopped.
Breadcrumbing
Offering occasional messages or attention that can keep someone hopeful without clear commitment or consistent communication.
02 / What we know
Visibility is not prevalence
Online stories can surface behaviors and prompt useful questions. They cannot, by themselves, establish how often those behaviors occur across a generation.
| Topic | What the report says | Evidence status |
|---|---|---|
| Behaviors | Shrekking, ghosting, and breadcrumbing appear in trend discussions. | ~Descriptive reports and anecdotes |
| Prevalence | Whether these behaviors are widespread among Gen Z is not established. | ~Comprehensive data is lacking |
| Possible influences | Social media, peer validation, and shifting norms are suggested as factors. | ~Possible explanations, not proven causes |
| Potential impact | Counselors warn that these tactics may harm trust and emotional well-being. | !Concern; effects vary by person and context |
The source describes a reported rise, but supplies no representative prevalence estimate or definitive explanation for why these behaviors may be changing.
Why it matters
Trust is built through clear, respectful communication.Public shaming, unexplained silence, and mixed signals can leave people feeling anxious or disrespected. Counselors warn that repeated exposure to these tactics may affect relationship quality and well-being.
Digital spaces can amplify conflict and reward attention-grabbing posts. That context may shape what people see, but it does not prove that all young daters behave this way—or explain individual choices.
03 / A changing landscape
Dating norms in a digital life
For a generation raised with social platforms, flirting, conflict, and breakups can all unfold in public or through screens.
Connection moves online
Platforms such as TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat are part of everyday social interaction.
Behavior gains visibility
Posts, stories, and viral discussions can make personal dating experiences widely visible.
Norms face pressure
Public attention and peer dynamics may influence how people communicate and handle conflict.
Better evidence is needed
Research can clarify how common these behaviors are and what factors shape them.
04 / Practical responses
Make respect part of the conversation
Educators, families, platforms, and young people can support healthier online relationships while researchers work to understand the scale of the trend.
Build digital literacy
Help young people recognize how posting, sharing, and public reactions can affect others.
Communicate with care
Encourage honest boundaries, clear endings, and empathy during disagreement or a breakup.
Measure the pattern
Use broader research to assess prevalence, motivations, and possible psychological effects.
05 / Key questions
Four things to keep in mind
What is “Shrekking”?
A term used here for sabotaging or humiliating a partner online after a breakup, often through posts or comments.
Is it common across Gen Z?
That is not yet clear. Trend discussions suggest visibility is growing, but comprehensive prevalence data is missing.
Why might it be happening?
Social media influence, peer validation, and changing norms are suggested possibilities; definitive causes remain under study.
What can encourage healthier dating?
Digital literacy, empathy, respectful communication, and research into platform dynamics can all contribute.
Implications of ‘Not Nice’ Dating Behaviors for Young Relationships
The rise of ‘not nice’ behaviors like ‘Shrekking’ and ghosting among Gen Z has significant implications for mental health and relationship quality. Experts warn that these tactics can erode trust, foster anxiety, and contribute to a culture of disrespect in romantic interactions. As these behaviors become more normalized, there is concern about their long-term impact on social and emotional development, especially as many young people navigate forming healthy relationships in a digital environment.
Furthermore, these trends may influence how future generations approach intimacy and conflict resolution, potentially leading to more cynical or detached attitudes toward dating. The phenomenon also raises questions about the role of social media platforms in enabling or discouraging such behaviors, prompting calls for greater digital literacy and empathy education.
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Evolution of Digital Dating Norms Among Gen Z
Generation Z, born roughly between 1997 and 2012, has grown up with social media and online communication as central to their social lives. Over the past few years, dating among this cohort has shifted from traditional in-person interactions to digital platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat. During this period, new behaviors and slang have emerged, some of which challenge conventional standards of respect and kindness.
Recent trend analyses indicate that behaviors like ‘Shrekking’ and ghosting are not isolated incidents but part of a broader pattern of ‘not nice’ tactics that are gaining visibility. These behaviors are often reinforced by online culture, where viral videos and memes sometimes normalize or even celebrate cruelty or indifference in romantic contexts. Experts have noted that this evolution reflects a complex interplay of social media influence, peer dynamics, and shifting attitudes toward relationships.
Historically, dating norms emphasized respect, communication, and mutual understanding. Now, the focus often appears to be on self-presentation and validation, sometimes at the expense of kindness. The rise of these trends has prompted concern among educators, counselors, and parents about the future of healthy relationship development among young people.
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Extent and Causes of the ‘Not Nice’ Trends Still Unclear
While trend analysis points to a rise in behaviors like ‘Shrekking’ and ghosting, it remains unclear how widespread these practices truly are across all of Gen Z. There is also limited data on the specific motivations behind these behaviors, with some attributing them to social media influence and peer validation, but these claims are not definitively proven. Researchers caution that more comprehensive studies are needed to understand the full scope and underlying causes of these trends.
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Monitoring and Addressing Future Impact of Digital Dating Behaviors
Experts and educators are calling for increased digital literacy programs that promote empathy, respect, and healthy communication online. Researchers plan to conduct further studies to quantify the prevalence of ‘not nice’ behaviors and explore their psychological effects. Social media platforms may also face pressure to implement policies that discourage harmful interactions. In the coming months, attention is expected to focus on how these trends evolve and what interventions can mitigate their negative consequences.
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Key Questions
What exactly is ‘Shrekking’?
‘Shrekking’ refers to actively sabotaging or humiliating a partner online after a breakup, often through social media posts or comments that shame or embarrass them.
Are these behaviors common among all Gen Z users?
It is not yet clear how widespread these behaviors are. Trend analyses suggest they are rising, but comprehensive data on prevalence is still lacking.
Why are these behaviors increasing?
Experts suggest social media influence, peer validation, and changing social norms contribute to these trends, though definitive causes are still under study.
What can be done to promote healthier dating behaviors?
Promoting digital literacy, empathy education, and respectful communication on social media platforms can help encourage healthier relationship practices among young people.
Source: rss
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